While today may be my birthday, it really has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God.
I used to contemplate suicide on a daily basis. No one knew. No one had any idea. Well...no one except God.
If it wasn’t for God I most likely wouldn’t be having this birthday. I would have never met my husband or gotten married or had my 2 beautiful children. I wouldn’t be writing this now. I would have most likely ended my life when I felt like things were too hard and I couldn’t overcome them or achieve perfection.
The ONLY thing that kept me alive was Jesus. The ONLY thing that keeps me away from going down that path of thoughts is Jesus.
Life is difficult, and your circumstances are not always ones you enjoy or would have ever chosen for yourself. You may have doubts and question “Why? This isn’t fair.” You may want to throw in the towel and quit, quit what you are called to do or even life itself. Wherever you may be I encourage you to turn to Jesus.
God Himself, the Creator of the universe, came down to earth as a baby, a helpless little baby. He lived a lifestyle that wasn’t lavish and came to lay everything down for us. He committed social suicide, He was tortured and beaten, He was murdered, and He came back to life. Why? For you! For me! He took on the weight of our failures, of our insecurities, of our self doubt and the horrible thoughts we think of ourselves and others. He took on ALL of the evil that we have and will ever commit and died as a living sacrifice for it all, so we could be one again with Him.
Then He gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit, one that gives us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. That gives us things that don’t rely on our circumstances, because He freed us from our circumstances! He freed us from death! Not the death of our bodies, but in our spirit and souls. Death in this very life. I know I have felt the realness of walking in death while living. It’s a horrible tortuous experience.
God thank you for lifting me out of that place and continuing to on a daily basis. I am by NO means perfect and you know that. That’s why you came and died for me, because there is absolutely NO way I could accomplish any of this myself. That’s why you walk beside me, because you know I need you in every moment to overcome this death in life. Thank you Jesus for ALL you've done. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. Thank you for this birthday. Amen
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